‘Early Bird Communications’ to launch Pan India bio-communication services by third quarter of 2015

By April 1st, 2015 AT 10:29 AM

As we all know the recently concluded auctions have bruised the finances of the incumbent telecom operators who had to shell out large sums of money to reacquire their expiring spectrum, this cost is going to be passed on to the subscribers in the form of tariff hikes for call and data services. Soon it will be next to impossible to be able to afford a mobile phone and pay for the connection be it prepaid or postpaid. To solve this crisis an Ahmedabad based startup firm Early Bird Communications (EBC) has come up with a unique alternative means of communication which is independent of spectrum, this is called biocommunication.

Mr. Patel the CEO and business development head of EBC explained ‘Bio-communication is a form of communication where a living being is used as a vector for carrying messages from one point to another, in our case we use birds since they provide quick and reliable end to end service and are easier to maintain’. When enquired about the current holding of birds, Mr. Patel replied ‘EBC currently has a fleet of 300 pigeons, 500 sparrows, 100 crows, 80 koyals and 25 pairs of lovebirds that have been thoroughly trained to deliver messages tied round their neck from point to point. The size of the fleet will grow as the company expands and the plan is to add 3000 birds year on year’.

biocommunication
The business model:

Dedicated bird posts will be set up in prime locations of all 22 circles where the interested parties can come with their messages written on paper and the post attendant will roll them up and tie them around the birds neck before setting them on the delivery mission.  Sparrows will be used for local delivery of messages within the same circle while pigeons will be used for carrying inter circle STD messages. EBC plans to acquire eagles for international delivery of ISD messages in the future.

Tariff guide:

Since the entire concept of bio-communication has come into existence on account of the high tariffs of GSM, every effort has been made by EBC to keep the tariffs as low as possible. Subscribers of the service can buy ‘Grain packs’ available in 3 sizes of small, medium and large. For sending local messages the subscriber needs to feed 5 grains of Bajra to the sparrow that will be carrying his message, while for sending inter circle messages the subscriber needs to feed 15 grains of Jowar to the pigeon that will be carrying his message.

vas

Value added services:

At the time of launch some value added services (VAS) will only be available in select circles and will be made available Pan India by the first quarter of 2016. Three VAS have been planned for roll out which are listed below:

  • Sending of musical messages through ‘Koyal’ which would sing in its sweet melodious voice at the time of message delivery (Equivalent of caller tunes on GSM)
  • Sending of love messages to your Boyfriend or Girlfriend through colourful ‘Love Birds’ which come in pairs and work as swift two way communication with one bird carrying a message from BF to GF while the second one carries the reply from GF to BF and vice versa.
  • Sending of legal notices by banks or break up notification by BF or GF through ‘Crow’ which will caw in its crude harsh voice relentlessly while delivering the message to the recipient.

Also read: Exclusive: End of Cell Tower Era – SIX-G (Smart Cap) to enter Indian Telecom Market, Invites Users to Test

Would you consider switching over from legacy GSM communication system to this innovative Bio-communication model? Let us know your views and opinions through your comments below.


Update: So smart people hit the bulls-eye but for those who are still wondering about the 6G Smart CAP and ‘Early Bird Communications’  let me tell you it was an April Fool prank  .

Some even found out that we were playing a prank and commented saying so, Sorry our intelligent readers we didn’t publish your comments during that time just to make sure we can fool all others in a bigger way, we have now approved all the comments.

Physiotherapist by day and techno buff by evening, Esmail is our very own in-house spectrum specialist. He has a keen eye for the Mobile data and DTH segments.

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Manoj
Manoj

hahahaha bana diya sabko.. har saal ki tarah 😀

Raghuram
Raghuram

Happy April fool all TT readers

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